January 2012
141 posts
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Damn you British tumblrs! I’m still here in the past. You’re in 2012 without me. I still have 7 1/2 hours to go, bitches. Like a boss?
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December 2011
154 posts
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When someone tries to talk during my TV shows
totally-relatable:
DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK?
Follow Totally-Relatable for the funniest and most relatable posts.
I hate it so much. SHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU.
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Think before you make up your mind, you don't seem...
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Old people have really amazing stories.
Car ride today with my grandma. I asked about my granddad I never got to meet, and son of a bitch. The way they met, and their story is a movie. Words cannot describe. I only wish I could have known him, I never knew anything of him until today.
He sounded like a clever, curious man.
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“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and...”
– Muriel Strode
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Chris Farley's take on Christmas.
“It’s all about presents to you kids isn’t it? You all wanna wake up Christmas morning, run down to the tree at light speed, you grab the biggest package that you can, you tear it up open, you pop your hand in and you pull out a dream come true. Well I got news for you kids. In the real world you hang up a stocking, the next morning you find it filled to the brim with JACK SQUAT...
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Andy: dude, I told you to unlock the door for when I got back. It's cold I hate you so much. No just kidding. I STILL LUUUUUHVE YOU.
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I am completely indifferent towards Emma Watson, but I’m diggin’ this quote.
“I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing…I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually...
“Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage...”
– Emily Dickinson. ((I think this is one of my favorite poems.))
“George Gershwin died on July 11, 1937, but I don’t have to believe it if I...”
BITCH.
Let me just previously state that I love Erika and our facebook chats.
Erika: that vid still cracks me up haha,"That's a wig bitch..........I told you it was a wig!!" hahaha
Michelle: yeeeeees! That's how you do it, bitch. add bitch to the end of anything and it makes everything funny. "I'm sorry but we're over...BITCH."
Erika: lol "you want fries with that...BITCH!" hahaha idk lol
Michelle: see? the end of anything!...BITCH
Erika: lol but if we say it to the wrong person we gonna get our asses beaten up...BITCH!
Michelle: ahh you're right! we gotta watch out when we say it...BITCH
Erika: yup yup..imagine we say it to a black girl..damn she gonna kick the shit out our booties..BITCH
Michelle: nah yo we can take on the bitch....BITCH
Erika: idk girl...black girls are fiesty..BITCH
Michelle: GUUUUUUURL please. but you're probably right. just show em a big gold earring though and they'll get distracted....BITCH
Erika: hahaha shoot i know right they"ll be like "daaamn thatshit is shiny"...BITCH
Michelle: they'd be all OOH SNAP I WANNA WALK IN A GHETTO WONDERLAND.........BITCH
Erika: hahaha the ghetto wonderland lol nice girl...its funny how we can easily make fun of black ppls haha...BITCH
Michelle: funny, and terrible. but mostly funny. BITCH.
And it pretty much just goes on like that for a while.